My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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you lose.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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I am a women

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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