Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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PENIS

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Womens Rights

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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