1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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Come In!

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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