Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

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canada

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Knock knock --Come in.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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