What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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Santa isn't real

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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