What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops