What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops