Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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