Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man was shot. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops