Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops