My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops