Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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whats green and lives in the water

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Leave. Now.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops