Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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