You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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