Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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i found waldo.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops