A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops