Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

thumb_up thumb_down -10

someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops