Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops