A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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