What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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