What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops