Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

The Big Band Theory

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

you just read an anti-joke

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

a black man did not eat chicken.

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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