You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops