Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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