Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops