What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

united we sit, cause we're fat

Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

my mind's eye?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

what you get time to go with? - a clock

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

AIDS

What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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