What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a chicken. It squarked.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops