So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

thats what she she. no really thats what she said

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...