What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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69

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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