A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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