Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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I'm Polish.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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