What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...