How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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VITAMIN C!

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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