yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...