what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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