How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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