Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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the lemon was sweet.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Knock knock come in.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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