What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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GOODBYE

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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