what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I know you are but what am I? Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops