Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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