Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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This is a joke.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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F? No k

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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