What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sharvil has aids 4 times

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops