There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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The queen having a shit

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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