How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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aodhan hearty

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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