Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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