I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

Sir, your wife is dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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