A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops