One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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