Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Guest what? Dog

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops