What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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non poop

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Im gay What about you

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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