What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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No!

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HEY!

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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